What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
