I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
