he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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