good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
