She said her name was "party"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
