I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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