I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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