GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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