No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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