"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
