So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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