Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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