I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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