i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
