1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
