I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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