my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize