I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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