im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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