you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
