I think my vagina is haunted
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
