i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
