So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize