a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
