Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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