i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
