so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
