she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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