Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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