i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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