I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
