she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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