Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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