he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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