My hand turned me down
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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