I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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