Nicole vs. Life
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
