Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
