sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
