Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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