D3 body, D1 cock
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
