Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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