omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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