Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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