i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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