I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
