I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
