My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
