I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just pee around me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
