Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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