fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
