i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
