He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
