No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
