3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will die if light touches me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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