So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
