And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
