I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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